Camouflage

Today was just one of those days. I knocked my water dish over, I chewed a hole in my favorite toy and a stranger freaked me out so I peed on the carpet. If my agent calls, I'll be hiding in my fort trying my best to look like the carpet.

Trees Kneel Before Me

Sure, most dogs pee on trees. It may not seem like the most polite way to go about things, but until we sprout opposable thumbs and waste our time learning out to write, this will have to do. Urinating at the base of the trunk is child's play though. When I go out, trees bend to my whim. I micturated on the very top of this one. Tree's mine - beat it.