Monday, July 26, 2010

I Love My Water Bed

It's hot outside, so this is the place to be. I know this thing fills with cool liquid somehow. If only I had the opposable thumbs to make it happen. I'll just keep my head up on this hard pillow so if some kind soul comes by to help me out I won't drown in my sleep.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Woop woop!

I was framed! I always pick up after myself on walks - it was one of those other nasty neighbor dogs who left his droppings everywhere. And now I'm stuck in this horrible little cell with nothing to do except sleep.

No, wait, I'm on my balcony. I called the cops because the neighbors just wouldn't shut up. Watching TV really loud during the day, making loud phone calls between the hours of 8 AM and 5 PM. How's a girl supposed to get her beauty sleep with all of that racket?

Monday, March 29, 2010

Water Fountains

Yup, that's my paw in the lower corner. This little baby is about 4 feet off the ground. Why are they so darn inconvenient to use? I gotta get somebody else to push the stupid button just so I can get a drink. I mean seriously, they just blew it on the design with this one. I see all you people out there only drinking water from your plastic bottles. I know nobody uses these drinking fountains any more. So help a sister out by lowering it a few feet and adding a doggy pedal to bring on the cool liquid refreshment.

Friday, March 19, 2010

I Smell You Treat

Yes treat, I know you are there. I may not be able to see you up on top of these abnormally high counters, but I can smell you. Just give me 5 seconds alone with you and we'll see who's boss.

Monday, March 8, 2010

This is a Goat

This is not me; this is a goat. We're both white, but that's about where it ends. This goat lives on some private property up the the Los Gatos hills. There's another one behind the expensive, brand-new Audi. Yes, you read that right. I wonder if the goat goes for rides in the Audi. You know, once it's done chewing on the tires.

I saw it while I was going for a ride in the car today. Much more fun than eating hay out of a garage. People are weird.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Nude Sunbathing

This seems to be the perfect relaxing birthday decision. A lady never reveals her age, but I'm not old yet so screw that. I'm 4 today! Don't think I look a day over 3 and a half either.
Now if only I could get a little nude sunbathing going without all this stupid paparazzi taking my picture I'd be set. At least I have water and sand to make a mess of myself.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Speed Squeaker

OhmanI'msoexcitedIjustwanttograbthistoyandsqueakitasfastasIcan. Chewsqueakchewsqueakchewsqueak. Chewsqueak. Chew. Squeak. And I'm done.

Mmm...comfy carpet.